Opposites attract… um, not all that much. Get your inside straight and the outside might take better care of itself. The stronger people’s sense of self, the higher their ability to be intimate.
People who have a high frequency of love experiences tend to have high self-confidence and low defensiveness… Insecure people who do not have a coherent sense of self and who are not self-actualized tend toward a game-playng style of love and have relationships with low levels of intimacy and high levels of conflict… A study that compared the levels of people’s self-identity to the levels of intimacy in their relationships showed that Erikson was right. Having a strong sense of who you are and a lot of self-confidence is a good predictor of whether you’re going to fall in love with anyone. Let’s talk about the other side of character. People like people who are nice and smart and funny and make them feel good and zzzzzzzzzzzzz. When the dominant emotion is attraction, repeated exposure enhances the attraction. When the dominant emotion is anger, repeated exposure enhances the anger. …repeated exposure intensifies the dominant emotion in the relationship. Repeated exposure amplifies whatever is already there. “What about that annoying person at work, huh? I see them all the time and I don’t fall in love with them.” Repeated exposure, it turns out, increases our liking for practically everything, from the routine features of our lives to decorating materials, exotic foods, music, or people. What underlies this? Obviously, you have to meet, but there’s something else going on: repeated exposure.Īs marketers know very well (and anyone looking for love should learn about marketing), repeated exposure makes us like almost anything. The most important factor in determining who would be emotionally close to whom was the distance between their apartments. Two factors appeared to exercise the greatest influence on personal relationships: the location of the apartments and the distances between them. Who becomes friends in the dorms at college? People who are similar? No. The number of marriages decreased as the distance increased between the couples’ places of residence.
It turned out that 54% of the couples were separated by a distance of 16 blocks or fewer when they first went out together, and 37% were separated by a distance of 5 blocks or fewer. In another study, conducted in Columbus, Ohio, in the 1950s, 431 couples who applied for marriage licenses were interviewed. Via Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose: Yeah, unromantic and obvious but if you’re looking for love, definitely ask yourself where you’re spending your time.
17 ATTRACTION TRIGGERS HOW TO
Let’s check out the specifics of how to make someone fall in love with you: Proximityīeing nearby helps a lot. Some of these factors are worth a deeper look.
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